PIZZA

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Possibly best to read my previous post before this, so you can see the seamless segue (sp?) that I'd planned in my grotesque furniture.
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For the discerning restaurant goer and food critique, eating out can be a tricky and confusing situation. Most noticeably of course, when you're half-cut, it's nearly midnight, and you need pizza. Well, discerning restaurant goers and food critiques alike, fear not, and behold!

For there is a dark and rarely-visited area of Old London Town called Twickenham. And in Twickenham, the only place to go for takeaway pizza is Village Pizza. It's got to be Village.
They currently have a two-for-one price deal, if you collect, which is great!
I can recommend the "Scarecrow" pizza, which has chopped tomato, garlic, onion and ground beef (ask for no beef, but with tandoori chicken instead), and the one which has chicken, mixed peppers, sweetcorn and mushroom.

If you're feeling particularly adventurous, try taking a slice of each, and layering them up, like a pizza sandwich - Mmmmmmmm!
These pizzas should come with a warning though - the next morning you will be struck down, cursed for the whole day, with the world's most disgusting farts imaginable. Truly, truly foul. The stench that will trumpet out of your bumpipe would make a skunk gag, and will make your bottom cry.
On no account should you attempt to Dutch-oven yourself, as you will die - of that there is no doubt.
So! Give it a go! Village Pizza! The best in Twickenham, but, for god's sake, buy some Fabreze for the morning after.

SMOOSH

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Hello tout le monde.
I'm back again - I've just spent the day frantically prettying up the shop, because Sky News came to film! They interviewed my boss, whilst I hid in the background. I was hiding behind the counter, eating Jelly Babies and trying not to sneeze.
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In other news, I've decided that my new favourite band for the next twenty seconds is going to be "SMOOSH". I went to see Eels at the Astoria earlier this year. The gig was probably the best I will ever see, as they were spiffing. Smoosh opened for them, and they were very good, especially seeing as the two girls who make up Smoosh have the combined age of twelve. I've just been illegally downloading some tracks of theirs, and they're pretty cool - a nice thing to have around for the time that it's there. Like a pizza.